But last week, she announced via Instagram Story that “after a lot of reflection and some really tough conversations” she was pulling the plug on the tour, which was initially set to kick off on June 12 in Michigan. “Balancing the release of a new album, preparing for a nationwide tour and welcoming our new baby girl to our growing family of five has just been more than I can take on right now,” she wrote at the time. “I promise I’ll be back soon.” As Trainor explains it, while on paper the tour seemed feasible, she’s been overwhelmed by its logistics with three young kids in tow. (In addition to Mikey, the newborn girl she and husband Daryl Sabara welcomed via surrogate in January, they also share Riley, 4, and Barry, 2.) “I gotta pick my kids first and I gotta be the mom that they need right now,” she tells Billboard of the heart-wrenching decision.

“Please let all the fans who are reading this know that I’m devastated. I’m so sorry. I wish I could do a video for each family member who got their daughter tickets to my show.

I think that’s what hurts the most.” The internet was quick to speculate about the reasons, an irony considering Toy With Me’s lead single “Still Don’t Care” focuses on the negative online chatter she’s grappled with over the years, including comments about her weight loss. While Trainor is baring her raw emotions on the album, it’s all through the lens of the doo-wop-infused sounds she’s become known for: tales of insecurity and empowerment with a pop twist. Ahead of its release, the Grammy winner got candid with Billboard about the recent headlines, the effect her three kids have had on her career and the cathartic evolution of her music, including album-closer “Shimmer.” “I want everyone to sing as an affirmation,” she says.

“Like ‘I am a badass and I don’t care about what anyone thinks.’” Let’s set the record straight, because there’s a lot of online chatter right now about the tour. So in your own words, what happened? I’m devastated.

I’m really sad. My second kid just started preschool and we all keep on getting sick, and I was really overwhelmed with wrapping up the album and the music videos. Then the idea of the tour took over and it was really scary as I was looking at my children and how sick they were and how young they are.

I also have a three-month-old, and I realized I was already spending too much time working and not with them. So I talked to my husband and my team a lot and we realized tour would be so difficult on these three kids at this age. And for me it’d be so difficult, as I wouldn’t even be with them that much.

I had to take a big overall look of, ‘Do I choose my career or do I choose being a mom right now?’ As dramatic as that sounds, that’s where we were at last week. But it’s horrible. I’m really sad and I don’t know what the right decision is, but I know that my kids come first, so I have to be with them at this time and bond with my three-month-old before she is too old and I lose this time.

Are you looking at everything in a completely different way now that you’re a mom of three? (I have to remind myself) my job will always be there. I’m a workaholic, so I will work forever and I’ll never give up on my dreams, but I realized my biggest dream above a career is my family. I needed help recently to see that because I was drowning.

I couldn’t do it all and I thought I was doing it all. But my family helped me. My husband helped me and was like, “Listen, I know how important this album is to you, and this tour is to you, and I know you’ve like worked your ass off for it, but take a step back and let’s look up and realize that we have these three young, beautiful kids that need our help.” Then the very same week of deciding that, both my kids had pink eye and the baby was being tough to nap and eat.

It was two weeks of chaos, and a sign from somebody saying, “This might be too much on your plate.” And I’m like, “Yeah, you’re right.” I just know what’s the safest and best thing for my family. And it wasn’t to tour for three months straight in the heat of summer with a new baby and two young children. I was about to get a second bus for the kids to go early so they wouldn’t have to live on a bus all day long.

There were a lot of pros and a lot of cons, but there were just too many cons. It was reported you sold your house around the same time as the tour cancelation. People were also wondering if those were connected.

No, I’ve been trying to sell that house for two years. Tha