Ohio State Buckeyes linebacker Sonny Styles (0) reacts in the first half at the Ohio Stadium on Saturday, Sept. 13, 2025 in Columbus, Ohio.They say deadlines spur action, so here we are on the day of the 2026 NFL Draft presenting you with the most important story of the NFL calendar. Just in time, baby. Thanks to Fran Duffy’s Diehard Draft Guide and Dane Brugler’s Beast for the essential treasure trove of names, beautiful names.
All 344 names highlighted below are real prospects in this year’s draft. Most likely to have a nose where his mouth should be 1. CJ Picazo, G, Concordia, St.
Paul Weirdest theme park 1. Isaiah World, T, Oregon Most likely to get chased by a dog 1. Riley Mahlman, T, WisconsinBest compliment to a spider1.
Sterling Webb, DT, MissouriMost likely to put raisins in the chicken salad 1. Ryan Whitely, C, Saginaw Valley State Most likely to open an auto dealership 2. Josh Celiscar, Edge, South Florida1.
Jackson Carsello, C, NorthwesternWorst pop-up ad 1. Kam Olds, Edge, Kentucky Most likely to have been conceived at a bar 5. Evan Beerntsen, G, Northwestern4.
Monkell Goodwine, DT, South Carolina 3. Jager Burton, C, Kentucky2. Dacari Collins, WR, Louisville1. Makylan Pounders, T, LouisvilleRudest response to the opening line of Moby Dick 1.
Ismail Mahdi, RB, ArizonaBest chance to win a Royal Rumble 18. Trent Battle, RB, TCU17. Jax Harrington, G, Louisiana16. Rodeo Graham Jr., RB, Southeastern Louisiana15.
Scooby Williams, LB, Texas A&M 14. Justice James, CB, Kansas State13. Octavian Smith Jr., WR, Maryland12. Marlon Gunn Jr., RB, East Carolina11.
Karate Brenson, WR, Wake Forest10. Trey Smack, K, Florida9. Rasheed Reason, CB, East Carolina8. Danarius Hollywood, CB, Prairie View A&M 7.
Matthew McDoom, CB, Cincinnati6. Cameron Threatt, CB, Delta State5. Justus Johnson, CB, SE Missouri State4. VJ Payne, S, Kansas State 3.
Marcellus Marshall, G, Minnesota2. Cash Jones, RB, Georgia1. Sonny Styles, LB, Ohio StateBest news about you and Dupree 1.
Ja’Naylon Dupree, WR, Jackson StateMost interesting low-level bad guy in a sci-fi trilogy 43. Michael Mokofisi, G, Utah42. Jez Janvier, T, Southern Miss.41.
Shiyazh Pete, T, Kentucky40. Tamarion Crumpley, CB, UAB39. Botros Alisandro, CB, Old Dominion38. Weylin Lapuaho, G, BYU 37.
Inumidun Ayo-Durojaiye, LB, Yale36. Zhen Sotelo, G, Hawaii35. Ckelby Givens, Edge, Southern34. Bayo Kannike, G, San Diego State33.
E. Jai Mason, WR, Charlotte32. Zion Nason, DT, Louisiana Tech31. Kolbe Katsis, WR, Northern Arizona30.
Trond Grizzell, WR, California29. Jernias Tafia, DT, Colorado State28. Nahree Biggins, RB, Central Michigan27. Dekel Crowdus, WR, Wisconsin26.
Zelmar Vedder, CB, Houston25. Keanu Koht, Edge, Vanderbilt24. Mahamane Moussa, G, Louisville23. Slade Shufelt, Edge, Portland State22.
Omar Aigbedion, G, Baylor21. Zukudo Igwenagu, Edge, UMass 20. Alani Makihele, G, UNLV19. Aghogho Eyafe, WR, Jacksonville State18.
Junior Tuihalamaka, Edge, Notre Dame17. Ky’ron Craggette, RB, Seton Hill 16. Dodji Dahoue, T, Eastern Michigan15. Nyzier Fourqurean, CB, Wisconsin14.
Jimto Obidegwu, T, North Texas13. Jimeto Obigbo, G, Arizona State12. Qian Magwood, WR, Ball State11. Nuer Gatkuoth, Edge, Wake Forest10.
Mackavelli Malotumau, DT, Western Kentucky9. Tsion Nunnally, WR, Idaho State8. Kyndrich Breedlove, CB, Arizona State7. Chubba Maae, G, Arizona6.
Pius Odjugo, DT, Ohio5. Zy Crisler, G, Colorado4. Shakespeare Louis, S, Southeastern Louisiana3. Gafa Faga, DT, San Jose State2.
Elvin Fofanah, TE, Gardner-Webb1. Laith Marjan, K, KansasBiggest fan of Outback Steakhouse 1. Noe Ruelas, K, UCFOct 4, 2025; Orlando, Florida, USA; UCF Knights kicker Noe Ruelas (16) kicks the extra point during the first quarter against the Kansas Jayhawks at FBC Mortgage Stadium.
Mandatory Credit: Mike Watters-Imagn ImagesBest full sentence11. Jordan Favors, S, Appalachian State10. Jake Burns, G, Bowling Green9.
Walker Parks, G, Clemson8. Caleb Downs, S, Ohio State7. Latrelle Smith-Leaks, 6. Kyron Drones, QB, Virginia Tech5.
Malachi Fields, WR, Notre Dame 4. Race Stewart, DT, Western Michigan3. Kendric Rhymes, RB, Tennessee State2. Diego Pounds, T, Ole Miss 1.
Robert Spears-Jennings, S, OklahomaBest name for a wayward drive 1. KJ Shankle, RB, East Texas A&MMost obviously a fake name created by a kid 4. Victory David, WR, Western Colorado3.
Dan Dishman, TE, Texas-San Antonio2. TJ Guy, Edge, Michigan1. Jett Coolman, WR, Florida AtlanticMost recently rejected Crayola color 1.
Sincere Brown, WR, ColoradoMost likely transcription error you catch for the word “cameras” while scrolling Instagram 1. Cam Ross, WR, VirginiaMost handsome 2. Dash Luke, WR, Missouri State1.
Connor Finer, WR, Rhode IslandWorst sequel 1. Michael Jackson III, WR, PurdueJuiciest rumor after the 8th grade dance 1. Bryan Felter, G, RutgersMost offputting way for Hank to describe the seasoning of his dish 1.
Hank Pepper, LS, USC Best nominative determinism 9. Noah Short, WR, Army8. Aidan Meek, T, San Diego State7. Sabastian Harsh, Edge, N